The Life of A Seminary Wife: Part 3 - Solutions

After observing some of the struggles that seminary wives experience, I now want to suggest some possible solutions for dealing with these issues. 

At the outset, it must be noted that although difficulties are a part of life, there are both godly and ungodly ways to respond. I believe that God has given us His Word for the purpose (amongst many other reasons) of directing us to him when life gets tough. 2 Peter 1:3 says that we have been given everything we need for life and godliness. That's an all-encompassing promise. Through God's Word, we can be directed, helped, encouraged, exhorted, reproved, taught, enlightened, and changed to walk in obedience to God and his commands. That being said, I want to give some biblical wisdom addressing the unique struggles mentioned in Part 1 of this series. 

1. Redeem the time - Ephesians 5:15-16 says that Christians are to "look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." Our days are numbered. I am reminded of this every night when I go to sleep. It is sobering to think that if the Lord chooses, I could not wake up the next morning. James 4:14-17 concludes that we do not know when our lives will come to an end, therefore we should not assume that our plans will always go accordingly. In light of eternity, the four years (or perhaps more...) that you spend at seminary are really just a blip in time. 

However, we are called to "make the best use of the time", in whatever season or circumstance of life God has put us. In seminary, you have an abundance of resources at your disposal: the library, opportunities to audit classes, seminars, seminary wives' ministries, like-minded women living next door. The list goes on. There will not be another time in your life, as you eventually go out into the ministry, when you will have all of these resources so readily available. 

Likewise, seminary proves to be a fruitful time of learning for both student and spouse. I can attest to the fact that I have become more disciplined in reading books, studying the Scriptures, and listening to sermons while being at seminary. Why? My husband is always talking about this subject or that biblical text, which sparks my curiosity (and challenges me!) so that I go after answers to tough questions. I also realize that this is a time of ministry preparation for me, as well as for Chance. After we leave seminary, we will likely be in a church or other ministry context where I will not have the opportunities for training, mentorship, and theological growth, like I have right now. All that to say - don't waste this time!

2. Repent of bitterness; be thankful - Ephesians 4:31 says "You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk." (NET) This verse cuts to the heart. If we are mulling about with resentment and bitterness toward our husbands, we are sinning not only against our husbands, but against our God. 

Bitterness tends to grow most rapidly in those who only focus on the negative aspects of life. If a wife complains about the city she now lives in, the church she now attends, the people she is meeting (or not meeting), and the job she now works at, the seed of bitterness has already blossomed; the root of it is very deep.

However, if a wife has a mind set on thanksgiving, her attitude will be one of gratitude rather than bitterness. Paul explicitly says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." Elsewhere Paul says to make your requests known to God with thanksgiving, and that we should give thanks "always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Eph. 5:20). Lastly, Colossians 3:17 says "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Clearly, the Scriptures teach that our response to the circumstances that God has put us in, whether easy or difficult, should be thanksgiving. 

God has blessed you with a husband who desires to (1) learn the Bible, (2) serve the Lord, and (3) provide for his household. God has brought you to seminary for his sovereign purposes, and it would be a shame to waste the time by being bitter or resentful. God will bless the time if you obey his commands. When we are tempted to become bitter, remember God's will for you: give thanks in all circumstances. 

3. Remember, you aren't alone - The privilege of learning at an institution like seminary cannot be overstated. Moreover, the opportunity to learn and grow alongside like-minded believers is an enormous blessing. There have been many days, however, when that reality has not been on the forefront of my mind. 

Too many times I have forgotten that I am in the same boat as many other wives! My exhortation to wives who are experiencing loneliness, is to first remember that you aren't the only one going through this. Secondly, remember that you aren't meant to do this alone. Third, you will remain lonely if you are always alone, so join a community. 

On the last note, whether it is a women's bible study at your church or a ministry directed at seminary wives specifically, you will do well to intentionally surround yourself with other seminary wives. You need them and they need you. 

Lastly, "seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near" (Is. 55:6). God has a purpose for you in the midst of your loneliness. He wants you to draw near to him and find your comfort in him. 

I hope that this series has been helpful for those current and future seminary wives. It is my desire that as you go through seminary with your husband, you will never lose sight of the goodness of the Lord in putting right where you are. 

The Life of A Seminary Wife: Part 1 - Struggles

When you decide as a family to attend seminary, you choose to sacrifice. The difficulties that accompany seminary may be because the wife came with a set of expectations that were unmet, or because her husband is stretched too thin. Nevertheless, all of us must admit that seminary is taxing for both student and spouse. 

To begin this series, I want to first look at the struggles that so many wives face when they come to seminary.

The Situation

Your husband is in class. You are either working full-time outside the home to support him, working inside the home by caring for your children, or a combination of the two. You hear the word "busy" more often that you can count. You may feel like you see your husband only at mealtime and bedtime. You are both working hard to utilize the time that God has ordained for you while in seminary, but sometimes working, taking classes, serving at the church, and caring for your family gets overwhelming. What results is tough questions about what you are doing here in the first place. 

Can you resonate with any (or all) of these? I can. When Chance and I first moved to Dallas, we jumped right into our church and began serving, while also participating in a ministry outside of the church. I started a full-time job at a financial management company, while Chance took a full load of summer classes. I hadn't known what to expect, but I figured it would take some time to adjust to our new schedules. 

In the midst of all that, I was trying to build new friendships and find time to invest in those relationships that I hoped would last a lifetime. This was all new. As I attempted to navigate the waters of seminary life, I realized that I could go through this whole experience feeling overwhelmed. 

The Struggles

"I'm just here for him!" If you are at seminary with your husband, it is [hopefully] because the Lord has specifically called him to be trained for ministry. However, God has called your husband and you to the ministry. One mistake that I believe many wives make is that they come to seminary for their husband, rather than with their husband. What I mean by this is that wives will say that they are just here while their husband gets his degree, yet they do not see the unique opportunity that they themselves have to get trained to be in ministry alongside their husband. 

At the opening event for DTS's seminary wives, I heard the advisor to SWIM (Seminary Wives In Ministry) say very pointedly that both you and your husband are getting that degree. That clicked for me. I began using the phrase "we are in seminary" rather than singling Chance out. This was due to her exhortation that my husband was not going to get through this experience without my support. 

Both Chance and I, as a married couple, have been called to a life of ministry. As his wife, I am to fully support my husband no matter what, as long as he is obeying the Lord and living according to God's Word. I am here with my husband. I am not against him. I am not just tagging along. I am really with him in seminary. 

Loneliness - At a place like seminary, the most ironic thing is that everyone is going through much the same experience as you are, yet oftentimes you can feel very alone. If I gathered 10 women in a room and asked them what their biggest struggle has been while at seminary, I would guess that 9 out of 10 of those ladies would confess to feeling isolated and/or lonely. 

Here you are in a place amongst other Christian women, all preparing alongside their husbands for ministry, and you feel like you can't connect or that you are weird for feeling alone. This is understandable because, as I mentioned previously, your husband is in a season where his time is stretched thin. He has a load of responsibilities that he is trying to balance. That means that he's probably not home every night of week, and you may not be able to go on date as often as you'd like. 

Wives can accept the fact that this is a temporary experience, and do their best to help their husbands balance their time wisely. Or they can become embittered and resentful. The latter is the worst option, because, as unrepentant bitterness fosters, your unity with God and your husband is jeopardized.

Unmet expectations - Lastly, many wives comes to seminary with a set of expectations. The expectation that we wives are going to build great community, as soon as they walk on campus, is common. Or wives expect that their husbands will gain crystal clear insight as to his future ministry within the first semester. 

For those of us who have been at seminary longer than a year, we can attest to the fact that things often don't pan out how we expected. Relationships can take a while to form,  rarely appearing out of thin air. Even amongst Christians, long-lasting friendships are built through time, intentionality, and selflessness. Accepting this up front will be of great value to you in the long run. 

Additionally, a husband who has sensed a calling to pastoral ministry may decide to pursue a further degree instead of going straight into the ministry once he graduates. Likewise, another man who was confident that God wanted him to go to overseas, may instead choose to become a shepherd to God's flock in the local church context. Whatever direction God chooses to take your husband, having set expectations (that you feel MUST come to pass) may damage your perspective on how God wants to use both of you to further his kingdom. 

These are simply three ways that I have observed (and experienced) struggles in my time here at seminary. Thankfully, God provides us with everything that we need for life and godliness in his Word. In the next post, I will relay some of the tremendous ways that God has used this period of time to grow me and cause me to see his grace in my life. 

Brought to God

I just started reading Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman last week. The book is about living for the glory of God in the mundane circumstances of life, especially in the home. I am about halfway through the book, and as Gloria writes about the magnificence of our Great God, a statement she made about 1 Peter 3:18 jumped out at me. The verse reads, "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit." She underscored the fact that in the death of Jesus, not only have we been forgiven of our sins, we have been forgiven of our sins so that we might be brought to God. As sinners, we are considered offensive to God because he is holy and cannot tolerate sin in his presence. Therefore, God sent Jesus into this world, on behalf of sinners. Jesus lived a perfectly obedient life and was therefore able to be the perfect substitute for us. When he died on the cross, he took upon himself the iniquity of us all, so that while he became sin for us, we became his righteousness. The Scriptures say that all who place their trust in Christ have been "clothed" in Jesus' righteousness and "reconciled" to God. Jesus' atonement makes it possible for sinners, like myself, to stand in the presence of God and be considered acceptable and pleasing to Him! Not only does Jesus' sacrifice and atonement free me from the guilt and condemnation of my sins (Romans 8:1) but Jesus' suffering on my behalf brings me to God (1 Peter 3:18) so that I might enjoy Him forever! That is the point that Gloria made in her chapter on "The Power of Parables" and in discussing how God uses the mundane in our lives to conform us to the image of Jesus. These are some powerful and glorious truths that I bless God for allowing me to meditate on today. I would encourage anyone who is struggling with their purpose in the seemingly boring or monotonous circumstances of life, to read Gloria's book and to hope in the God who brings us to Himself through faith in His Son!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.." (Ephesians 1:3) 

Happy Father's Day! 

Strength Training for the Christian

As the wife of a seminary student, I am often listening to mini-lectures on the canonization of Scripture, inerrancy, and textual criticism (etc., etc.) In the past I have listened with passivity because I am not well-acquainted with these subjects; after all, I am just a seminary wife. But recently, I have become convicted (most likely through the prayers and encouragement of my dear seminarian-husband) that learning, specifically through reading, is vital to the Christian. Let me give you a parallel to help put this into perspective. 

I write often on this blog about exercise, specifically running. I love it! I devote valuable time to it because I both enjoy it and consider it beneficial. But one aspect of running that I don't so much enjoy is strength training. Strength training, for me, isn't fun. But it yields a great benefit! Fact: it makes you stronger (hence the name). I run faster and can go father when I have devoted time to going to the gym and lifting weights to build the muscles I use when I run. Strength training is also part of injury-prevention. When a runner or athlete has strong muscles, they are less likely to be hurt in their sport. Well, reading is like that for the Christian. For those of us who aren't avid readers, picking up an extra book and spending time actually reading it, can be a difficult task. I just finished a book called "Taking Hold of God" edited by Joel Beeke and Brian G. Najapfour, on Puritan and Reformed perspectives on prayer. I admit that when Chance told me about the book he had just checked out for me from the library, I was a little less than excited. It was not exactly the book I had had in mind to read on the subject of prayer. Boy was I wrong! It was a fantastic read that has challenged and encouraged me in the discipline, study, and practice of prayer. Had I not undertaken to trust my husband's judgment and read this book, I would not now be benefiting from what I have learned. 

To be sure, learning is a process that continues through our entire lifetime. God chose, in his wisdom, to inspire a book to be read so that the man (or woman) of God would be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 3:17). We would do well to press on in our learning through the discipline of reading and reap the rewards that await us. So just as athletes need strong muscles to perform to the best of their abilities, so we as Christians need strong spiritual muscles that are built as we exercise our minds through reading. 

Reading is also the Christian's defense against injury, because with knowledge there is power. Reading and learning from what we read, prevents us from incurring any injuries to our patterns of thinking. Paul told Timothy, "Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather, train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." I conclude from this passage that training one's mind to protect against error (or "injury") is even more important than training one's body. Certainly, our experiences shape the way we think about issues in life; from them we gain wisdom and the benefit of having been through certain circumstances ourselves. But how much more equipped could we be as Christians to face the world, if we took the time and energy to actually know the ins and outs of our faith. 

To conclude, I believe one of the greatest hindrances to devoting time to reading is busyness. "I'm too busy" is a phrase that I both use and hear too often. While I understand that every individual has a different schedule to keep to, we are all responsible utilize our time wisely. Perhaps we could all re-evaluate our levels of busyness to see if there really isn't time to devote to reading, for the glory of God. I am sure that we could all find time to read that book that we've meant to finish for months, if we checked Facebook less often, and took fewer Instragram photos. If you truly are desiring to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, take the time to read a book; I promise, you won't regret it. 

Contentment: Post-Partum and Beyond

I am not sure that I still fall into the "post-partum" category, after all Hudson will be 3 months old on Sunday--eek! I can't believe how quickly the past three months have gone by, and yet I have heeded the advice to soak up every minute of it. As the little one snoozes away in the Bjorn (that's French for "baby carrier"..haha not really), his loud breathing as music to my ears, I am taking a moment to write about an oft-discussed topic: the post-partum body and contentment.

For those of you who know me, you are well aware that one of my main hobbies is "healthy living". I love all things exercise, running, health food stores, and nutrition. It has become not just a hobby in fact, but a way of life for me and my family. During pregnancy, I continued to run, exercise, and eat healthy foods. And now that I am post-pregnancy, I have become all the more cognizant of what I consume and how much energy I am exerting on a daily basis. My diet pretty much consists of a LOT of vegetables, fruits, gluten-free whole grains, nuts (and nut butters), proteins such as chicken and turkey, and of course tortilla chips and hummus at every lunch time. My exercise regimen has been pretty consistent, as I trying to run up to 5 times a week, and go for walks with Hudson almost daily. But that is just me. I am not every woman, nor am I the standard by which every woman, pre-pregnancy or post-partum, should live by. These are my convictions, and the life circumstances I am in simply allow for me to live this way, as I desire to do so. 

I explain all of that to say that there is a major problem in the way that we as women view ourselves--both physically and spiritually. Since college, I have seen the sin of comparison rear its ugly head, as young women look down on themselves because they are not like so-and-so. I have fallen prey to this type of distorted thinking. At the root of comparison is the sin of discontentment. When we think less of ourselves in comparison to others we are exhibiting our sinful nature's lust for that which we do not have, i.e. discontentment. Over the past few months, I have heard encouraging comments about the way that I look, especially after having a baby. But in light of these comments, I have been saddened by a few of them. These comments are greatly welcomed and I am appreciative, but at the same time I hear behind those same words the desire of those who have spoken these words, to be something that they are not currently. My heart hurts for women who view themselves through the eyes of the world's unattainable standards. My exhortation to all women, whether you are recovering from giving birth or not, is that we need to renew our minds in biblical truths even about the way that we look. After reading Hebrews 13:5, "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you", I am convinced that the same principle of contentment applies to all circumstances. Remember what the apostle Paul said, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need." (Philippians 4:11-12) The Scripture is clear that women are to be modest, clothed with the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, and while bodily training is of some value godliness is of value in every way. 

As a reminder to myself and to all, contentment even with the way that one looks, begins in the mind. We must remain steadfast by choosing to believe truth rather than lies. As I strive to continue in healthy living, my goal should always be to honor God with my body, and not the achievement of some arbitrary physical standard. God has created each woman to possess unique characteristics, both physical and spiritual, that be thankful for and delight in. "For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving" (1 Timothy 4:4).

Great Expectations

"Expectations ruin relationships."

A few days ago I was having a conversation with my mother in law about the above quote. We talked about how when we expect people to act a certain way and then they act contrary to our expectation we end up disappointed and discouraged. In the past few days I have been reminded (or rather convicted) of this truth in my relationship to God and his sovereignty. 

When I was told that my due date was January 10th, 2013, I expected to have a baby by then. I thought that my water would break in the morning, I'd be able to shower, labor at home, then go to the hospital for an hour or so of pushing and then I'd be holding our son, all by 5pm! However, January 10th has come and gone, and I am still not holding this baby. In the past 24 hours I have had many thoughts of frustration and confusion. In my frustration today I have asked God many 'why' questions. As I was discussing my confusion with Chance this morning, I asked him, "Why didn't God answer my prayer that my water would break this morning?" I have wondered why first babies usually come late, why there are due dates at all, and why God has not yet answered my prayers that I would go into labor. And yet, as the minutes and hours pass and still I am without this baby in my arms (although he is still fluttering around in my stomach) I have been brought back to a simple truth that reflects the quote above: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." (Isaiah 55:8) I have been expecting that God would conform to my plans. One of my favorite preachers, John Piper, often says that God is doing a thousand things when he is doing one thing. I believe that Piper is referring to the thousands of things that God is doing that we simply cannot see, while we tend to focus on the one thing that God is doing that we can see. The Proverbs talk about the plans of man and the ways of the Lord, and how the two things are many times at odds. We expect that God will do exactly what we want, when we want, but that is taking God off the throne. It is interesting how we do take comfort in the fact that God is in control, but when our plans are distorted we rebel against the same comforting truth. I am not saying that it is easy to always believe, but thankfully the Word of God reminds us over and over again, lest we forget. 

Psalm 145:17 says, "The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works." As I write this, I am staring at that verse on a plaque that sits on my desk. Do I really believe that God is kind in all his works? Perhaps intellectually, but not always practically. When I allow emotions to dictate my reaction to circumstances, my natural impulse is to become self-pitying and doubt God's kindness and care of me. However, when I let the Word of God penetrate my mind and heart, I find rest even if I do not have all of the answers. Moreover, as I play this waiting game and try to focus on what is true, my soul counsels me to think of the circumstances in which God has chosen to remind me of his sovereignty and kindness. I am having a baby! What a blessing it is to know that on this occasion what I am expecting is imminent. Hudson will be born. If I do not grasp the truth of God's ways being higher than my ways in this situation, I fear how I will respond when the circumstances are not so hopeful. May God use this short period of waiting to teach me to trust him at all times, to have faith in his ways rather than trusting in my own, and to place my expectations in his promises. 

For all of you who have had to wait on the Lord's timing, whether it has been in the birth of a child or in the job hunting process, know that the Lord's way are higher than our ways, that he is a good and kind God, that he causes all things to work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose, and that he is always doing a thousand unseen things in the one thing you can see.

Thankful for ... WORK

As we roll into the holiday season, many of us begin to contemplate what we are thankful for. After all, the celebration that happens first in this season is Thanksgiving. Tomorrow, families and friends will gather to enjoy one another's company, share food, and be reminded of all the reasons they are thankful. I have often thought about the idea of giving thanks or being thankful, and would like to offer my two cents on the topic and then explain what I am thankful for.

Whenever you contemplate giving thanks, have you wondered, "Who am I giving thanks to?" Or do you know for sure who the One is that you are thankful to? It's quite a profound question when you think about it. I would guess that most people say that they are thankful for this and that, without giving much thought at all to the Source of their thanksgiving. Is it possible to be thankful without rendering your thanks to God? I would conclude that this is not possible. Scripture says, that "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." (James 1:17) If we begin with the presupposition that all good things come from God, then wouldn't we have to conclude that anything good in which we are thankful for has come from God? And do we not, therefore, have to give thanks to Him for that good thing? God is the Giver of all good things and so as long as we are thankful for good things in our lives, we must offer our thanks to the Good God who has made us and blessed us far more abundantly than we could ever think or imagine. 

  

 This brings me my reason for being thankful, not only this week or this holiday season, but in the past year and a half. I am thankful... for my job. Yes, you read correctly. I am thankful for my job, I am thankful for work. When Chance and I arrived in Dallas, I immediately interviewed for a job that was very close to where we were living. The position was that of an executive assistant/office manager in a financial management firm in Dallas. The building where this company is located is one of the most beautiful in Dallas. When I arrived for my first interview, I was stunned by the beauty of the building, the office space, and the view from the conference room where I was escorted upon my arrival. Well, to make a long story short, I was hired about two weeks later. Praise the Lord! It took me quite a few months to get used to the working environment and simply working full-time, but I have come to appreciate a whole host of things about this job. I have learned a great deal about myself while working here. I have been challenged to be more bold, to be assertive, to think critically, to mulitask, and to be responsible for many facets of a business. It has been a joy to work with my co-workers and to work under a boss who genuinely cares about his employees. I admit that working has not come without its challenges, but I am grateful for all (okay most of them) and wouldn't change my circumstances for the world. Admittedly, I have been discontent and complained along the way. However, God has taught me that He is a Great Provider and the One who orchestrates circumstances for my good and His glory.

As I close out this chapter of working in the corporate world full-time it is with reluctance and excitement. I will have the privilege of staying home to look after and care our new baby, Hudson, who Chance and I will be welcoming into the world in less than two months! We could not be more excited to see what the Lord has in store for our family. I am thankful for my job, for my co-workers, my boss. I am thankful to God for all these things and more and give Him the glory for all He has done and continues to do in my life. 

May we all seek to praise the Giver and Provider this Thanksgiving and Christmas season. As Paul said it so well in referring to the Lord Jesus, "Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift" (2 Corinthians 9:15)

Power in Weakness

I am finishing up my study in the book of 2 Corinthians, and this week I am reading and studying through 2 Corinthians 12:1-10. This portion of the letter is known as the apostle Paul's "Fool's Speech". He begins the passage by declaring that he "knows a man in Christ", to which he is referring to himself in the third person. He recalls that this man was shown great revelations from God, and Paul anonymously refers to this "man in Christ" not as himself, because he doesn't want to boast in the greatness that he has seen. In verse 5 Paul states ,"On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses." Paul then goes on to tell of his experience of his thorn in the flesh, and his response from the Lord when he plead with the Lord to remove it from him. In verse 7 Paul states that the reason he has been given this thorn (of which we are not told the details of) for the purpose of humbling him, for it was he who saw these revelations of which he previously spoke. God apparently sent a "messenger of Satan to harass" him, to keep Paul from becoming too puffed up about his supernatural experiences. Three times, the Scripture says, Paul pleaded with the Lord (Jesus) to remove the thorn from him. The Lord Jesus responded, however, in this way, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (v. 9) So we are told that in Paul's human weakness, the power of Christ is exhibited mightily. Then Paul makes the profound claim that because of this reason, he will boast in his weaknesses so that Christ's power will be strong in him.

This passage highlights one of the major themes in the whole letter: power in weakness. Or more specifically, God's power seen in human weakness. Does this seem paradoxical? How can one who is weak be strong simultaneously? The answer is found in the last few verses of the passage. If you read the entirety of this letter you will see that this theme has been running throughout Paul's correspondence with the Corinthians. He tells us in chapter 1 that God put him and his companions through hardship so that they would rely "not on themselves but on God who raises the dead." In chapters 2 and 3, Paul talks of the insufficiency of men to be preachers of God's gospel, but through God, men are made sufficient for the task. In chapters 8 and 9 Paul argues for sacrificial giving, using the example of "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich." (8:9) Also, throughout the book Paul talks of the hardships that he experienced as a servant of God, but how through them all God has sustained and delivered him. Paul reaches his climax of this discussion in chapter 12, when he mentions this thorn in flesh that was used to humble him.

Although Paul's request for the removal of this thorn was denied, Jesus ("the Lord") gave him profound reassurance that his grace would be sufficient to sustain Paul through this trial. This I believe to be the great message that reoccurs throughout the letter--that God may not remove trials from our lives, but will grant us sufficient grace in order to endure them. Think about what Jesus prayed when he was in the garden, right before his crucifixion, "And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36) The gospel of Mark says that Jesus prayed "the same words" three times. And here in Paul's letter, we see the same pattern of prayer, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me." (2 Cor. 12:8) The Father did not remove the cup of wrath that Jesus drank on the cross, nor did Jesus remove from Paul the "thorn in the flesh" that tormented him. In both cases, Jesus and Paul, were given the grace of God to endure their trials. Did not Jesus have to suffer by becoming weak, in order to be resurrected by the power of God? Jesus' reply to Paul's plea was a reminder of the gospel. The same gospel which Paul exhorted the Corinthians to believe in was what Jesus, in his response to Paul, told Paul to remember. The tense of the verb "is" ("my grace is sufficient") is in the present tense, not the past tense, meaning that Jesus' grace is continually being dispensed. The power of God is made perfect in weakness, and that perfection was first displayed in the crucifixion and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Himself who "although he was rich, yet for [our] sake became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich." (8:9) Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin on behalf of believers so that the righteousness of God would be imputed to their account. What a beautiful, applicable message!

When we think of the trials and hardships that we face in this life, even imagining that we cannot possibly live on, we are reminded that God's power (through his grace) is sufficient. It is sufficient for Jesus, for Paul, and for us. It will sustain us, invigorate us, humble us, and make us thankful that we have a God who is able to do "far more abundantly than all we ask or think according to the power at work within us" (Eph. 3:20). So whatever you are facing today, remember that God's supply of grace is unending and he loves to distribute it to all who will receive it by faith.

Food on Friday: Feed on the Word

After reading this article posted on The Gospel Coalition, from Desiring God's blog about making the most of one's morning , I was challenged and encouraged to think about my daily 'food' intake. With the rush of hormones that cause a pregnant woman to be hungry at all times, I have begun to think about the necessity of being always hungry for a helping of God's Word.

When I was in college, I routinely went to bed earlier than most, and got up in the morning earlier than most (thankfully my roommate junior year was the same way). I enjoyed this more and more in the latter years of college, as my taste for the Scriptures grew and as my schedule became increasingly demanding. I would characterize my college days as a whirlwind of activities, punctuated by precious times spent with the people that I love: Chance, my dear friends, and my church family. To put it simply: I was always on the go. This meant that the alone time that I had in the early mornings (usually waking between 6:30 and 7:00a.m.) was priceless to me -- I needed it to stay refreshed and have energy to take on the day. So I made it a habit. My senior year, I was married, and having to adjust to a new routine. Chance is also an "early to bed, early to rise"-type, lucky for me, so our schedules have always worked very well together. I begun waking (most days) when he would in order to spend some time with the Lord while Chance did the same. That year was a dream because I was in school full-time and had benefit of a lot of free time. I would spend a lot of time reading, praying, and running in the mornings, and I loved it.

Fast forward a year or so to right now. I work full-time, while Chance is in school full-time. I work 8:00 to 4:30p.m. Monday through Friday. I come home and cook dinner every night. We serve our church two nights a week. Life has changed, we are still busy. Now more than ever, I covet that free time I had every morning during my senior year . There are some days that I don't want to get out of bed because I am just plain exhausted. There are other days when I jump out of bed, ready to get in the Word. It seems that as life changes, the busyness never truly goes away and so I am learning to adjust. I am learning to give myself grace and recognize that I am not earning anything by spending my morning reading my Bible. I am learning to rest in the Lord, and enjoy His presence.

The article that I mentioned above is simply an encouragement to make your soul "happy in God" by refreshing it with a generous helping of the Scriptures. Whether that is first thing in the morning, or late in the day, we should all heed the advice of letting the Word saturate our souls. David talks about this, in Psalm 63, where he says, "My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night.." (vv. 5-6) So on this Friday afternoon, let God's steadfast love which is better than life (Ps. 63:3) satisfy your soul as food does your palette. Enjoy your weekend! I am off to Florida!

Self-Image: What Men Need to Know

In previous posts, I have spoken extensively about every women's battle with their own self-image. Whether it relates to weight, food issues, one's view of their beauty, I am convinced that every woman has internal struggles about her image. All of us have different degrees to which we wrestle with our own [false] ideas about ourselves and each individual's battle will look different. Admittedly, it takes time and energy to understand our own hearts, and the thoughts that too often plague us, but this is a crucial step in diagnosing the root of our problem and seeking grace from the only One who can truly heal us.

Recently, I spoke with a friend who described an extremely disheartening conversation she had with a guy friend about his response to her openness about her self-image struggles. This guy friend expressed his feelings of insensitivity, frustration, and disinterest in helping my friend deal with these deeply personal issues. It broke my heart to hear. But I believe the reason for this man's reaction was one thing: a misunderstanding of a women's struggle with self-image. I can attest to this reasoning because, 1) I have a husband, and 2) He doesn't always understand. Most men know very little of a woman's constant struggle with her image. It is not that men don't care, but for the the most part because they haven't experienced this to a similar degree, it is hard for them to be empathetic. On Friday, Chance and I were discussing this very topic as I shared some things that I have been dealing lately, mostly due to the trials of pregnancy. From that conversation, I would like to offer some counsel to all men about how to understand a women's struggle, and how to lovingly help her.

I cannot speak for all women, on a specific level, but I can speak for myself and my husband: this has been tremendously helpful. I have realized my frustration when Chance doesn't seem concerned or careful with his words regarding the distorted view I have of myself. I have attempted to be patient with him on recent occassions, to explain a women's desire for attention and for love. Deep inside of us is the innate desire to be wanted and when we feel ugly, we are ashamed and discouragement sets in. Many women struggle with their weight, which makes them self-conscious and timid. Other women struggle with distortions to their eating, problems that can be as severe as anorexia and bulimia, or as common as condemning thoughts about eating 2 extra slices of Papa John's (sound familiar?). The desire to be loved is not wrong, but because of the fallen nature of man, that love seeks its fulfillment in 'unnatural' places: unhealthy relationships, comfort from sweets, finding one's worth in exercise and seeking the 'perfect body.' God has created all of us for the purpose of worshiping our Creator, whose image we were made in the likeness of. But sin has caused our worship to go awry, which is why I believe all women have degrees of struggle with their own self-image.

Like I said before, the reason why most men don't seem empathetic is because they just don't understand. Women, on average, are the ones who most often deal with problems relating to "body issues" or "food issues." The first thing our male counterparts can do to help us women, is to understand the language and specifics. When I say, "I feel gross today," I am probably saying, "I am not believing that I am truly beautiful...in my opinion, the way my body is making me frustrated." Women tend to express feelings of self-pity (not okay) when we are discouraged about our outer appearance. Although the Scriptures address this specifically: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised" (Prov. 31:30), it will likely not be helpful if you, husband (brother or friend) rattle off this verse and assume that this will solve the problem. Understand the language. When you pray for your wife, don't just say, "Lord, Kathryn is dealing with food." What does that mean to me? Am I having trouble shopping for it? Or am I dealing with self-condemnation in regards to my eating habits? See, the language is important.

Now women, this doesn't get you off the hook either. You need to be willing to explain to your husband (brother, friend, etc.) the specifics of your struggle. Don't just assume that he knows what you are dealing with, and don't write him off or get frustrated when he doesn't automatically 'get it.' Be patient and take the time to explain your heart - trust me, it will do you both a world of good.

Secondly, men, listen to your wife. I cannot express to you enough how much this matters to her. When a woman chooses to open up about her struggle with her self-image or a matter concerning her relationship with food, she means for you to listen to her. She needs you to. Loving her, as a sister in Christ and as Christ loved his bride, means listening patiently and actively. I know that my husband is listening well when he asks me questions to get me to explain more thoroughly, which in turn helps me to open up. I know that he cares, that he loves me, and that he genuinely desires for me to be helped through my battles. So listen up men!

Lastly, I eluded to this in the previous paragraph, ask leading questions. If I am sharing that I am discouraged about how I look today, you might want to ask your wife, "Sweety, what do you mean by that?" or "What kind of thoughts were you having?" I have often been helped when others ask me questions that cause me to think actively about something I have just said passively. I am able to go through my thought process, consider what made me think that way, and likely see what lie I am believing about myself or my situation. A husband will understand his wife better if he listens attentively and asks her questions that explain her heart to him.

In conclusion, our husbands are instruments God uses in our lives to help us see truth, and fight the lies that our hearts believe. Men, please take heed to these instructions and lovingly seek to understand, listen, and ask questions of your wife in order to empathize with her situation. You may not ever fully understand, but she will certainly appreciate your genuine effort.

"By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us." -1 John 3:19-23

[Note: I used husbands as the prime example here, but the principle is applicable to brothers, fathers, uncles, friends, boyfriends, fiances, etc.]

Why I Love the Local Church

This is actually not the topic I was going to write about this morning, but while I was thinking about the other topic I was contemplating writing, this one popped into mind. So this is more of an impromptu post than I normally write ... in other words: bear with me.

The local church. There is much talk amongst us Christians about the importance of, the necessity of, the value of: the local church. And I have come to the conclusion that it is for good reason. Recently, I finished the new release RetroChristianity by Michael J. Svigel -- a DTS professor and elder at our local church here in Dallas. It was a thoughtful reflection on evangelicalism as a whole and what we as Christians need to do in order to "reclaim" the faith of our forefathers. As I read through the book I was provoked to think more deeply about the why of how we do things in the local church and Christianity as a whole. In my experience, it has taken me quite some time to grasp the importance and necessity of the local church body and for me to understand the reasons why all Christians must strive to serve the church with "all his energy that he powerfully works within me." (Colossians 1:29)

In college, shortly after I became a Christian, I began attending a church about 25 minutes away from my university in Jupiter, Florida called Grace Immanuel Bible Church (see picture below). It was the grace of God that led me to this church, and while it is by no means perfect (as no church is), this body of believers was who God used to shape me as a young Christian in the faith. I learned much from sitting under the teaching of wise, godly men and through spending time with older, humbler women who showed me what being a godly wife and mother truly looked like. It was at this church that God began to show me the importance of a local body of believers. I quickly made many friends both older and younger and for the first time saw what "fellowship" in the truest sense, looked like. Though as a young Christian, I had my own ideas about community and I was skeptical about some of the ways in which I was being exhorted to be involved. As these ideas of mine began to be challenged, I couldn't help but admit that my opinions were solely that: my opinions. The gracious arguments against me were coming from none other than the Scriptures themselves. After getting married and working through these issues with Chance for a whole year, disagreeing often, we moved to Dallas where Chance would re-start classes at DTS.

Upon arriving in Texas, both Chance and I had made up our minds that we did not want to "church hop" but we wanted to settle into one church, as soon as possible. We visited Scofield Memorial Church that first Sunday and have been there ever since. Chance had attended the church prior to moving back to Dallas, and was encouraged by the ministry there. Over the past year, both Chance and I have come to realize our naivety and immaturity in some of our past 'beliefs' and opinions about the local church body. Scofield is currently in a transitional phase in their life as a church - almost 135 years old! - and we have seen first hand the work that God has been doing in the lives of its members and congregants. We have grown fond of the body of believers that calls Scofield its home and have cherished the opportunities we have had to serve there. From Sunday School teaching, to preaching in youth group (Chance), to speaking at a women's outreach event, to coordinating the volunteering of youth workers, to "captain-ing" ScoGames teams, to serving hot dogs at an apartment complex outreach, God has used all of these opportunities to grow both Chance and I in our love for and desire to serve in, the local church body.

If I had to sum it up, I would say that the major reason why I have come to love the church is because 1) Scripture says that Christ died for his bride: the church; and if he loved her enough to die for her, then I had better love her too; 2) The body of believers serving one another in Christian love. The second reason, my friends, has been an active way in which I have witnessed the gifts and talents of God's people all working together for the mutual benefit of others, and the glory of God. It has not always been pretty, but it has been truly genuine. As believers who are reconciled to God, but not yet fully redeemed, we still have our own sets of problems and sins. Multiply that by hundreds of church members and that makes for a whole lot of problems. But by the grace of God, he chooses to conform us to the image of his Son while we serve one another and seek to benefit others for the sake of Christ and for the glory of God's gospel. He uses our faults, our insecurities, and even our failures to show us that apart from him we can do nothing. We look to Christ, as his body, the church, to get our strength and to find our identity. As we serve and seek to honor him, he blesses our efforts in turn blesses those whom we serve. It's an amazing entity that all Christians not only should be a part of, but must be a part of. What a privilege and what a joy that God gives us each other: "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ...For the body does not consist of one member but of many."  (1 Corinthians 12:12,14) And that's why I love the local church.

From glory to GLORY

As I have been reading and studying through 2 Corinthians with a friend, there have been a few apparent themes that have stuck out to me. One of which is the idea that God is transforming those who "turn to the Lord" into the same image as His son.  This is especially encouraging to me, because over the past year I have experienced a season of particular spiritual dryness. Many things have contributed to this, change being the biggest factor, and I will write about that later. But this morning I want to look at the idea of the transformation of the Christian into the likeness of our Savior. Let's look at three particular passages:

"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18, NASB)"

"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. " (2 Corinthians 4:6-7, ESV)

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16, ESV)

As we begin to look at the themese that run throughout these verses, we can pick up on a few key words: glory . glory of God . transformed . Jesus Christ . renewed . These words give us a hint as what Paul is talking about in this section. After he has just ended a discussion on the old covenant's fading glory, he climaxes by showing us that the glory of the new covenant is not fading but is instead a great glory that is permanent. Specifically, in 3:18, Paul says that all who have "turned to the Lord" see the glory of the Lord (Jesus Christ) "as in a mirror". As I began thinking of what that imagery meant, I got a clear picture in my mind of what looking into a mirror shows us. If I look into a mirror, I will see myself staring back at me! And Paul here is saying that we behold Jesus in a mirror! What does that mean? He is saying that as we are transformed into the the same image that we see of Christ in the mirror. God's glory is revealed in the person of Jesus Christ who is in all believers and God's Spirit transforms us to look more and more like Christ so that we behold a better and better image of Christ in ourselves.

In the next two verses, Paul is expanding on the idea of glory of God revealed in the person of Jesus. We clearly don't like like glorified Jesus externally. We don't glow, as He did at the Transfiguration, nor do we have resurrection bodies (yet!) that are without the stain of sin. Let's face it, we are simply "jars of clay", common vessels that have no special appearance in and of themselves. But Paul is saying here that the same God who created the light, has also shone light in the hearts of believers to reveal an inner knowledge of the glory of God, which is shown in the face or person of Christ. This inner knowledge is what is held in our 'jars of clay' bodies and it is what Paul calls "surpassing greatness of the power" that comes from God and not from ourselves.

Lastly, as Paul has mentioned the trials that he and his fellow ministers of the gospel have been through, he makes an astounding statement, "So we do not lose heart..." (4:16), because he knows that we should know too - that though our earthly bodies are decaying, dying everyday a little bit more, our inner selves are being renewed. How are they being renewed? By the knowledge of the glory of God that we possess, and by the transforming work of the Spirit of God to change us from one image of God to a more glorious image of God -- the likeness of the perfect image of God: Jesus Christ.

So how does this relate to the daily grind of work, family, friends, and life in general? John MacArthur, his 2 Corinthians study guide asks the question, "How can you practically 'behold the glory of the Lord' in everyday activities?" and so I pose a similar question: How in the midst of the distraction of daily life can you 'behold the glory of the Lord' by looking to Jesus? That may mean a daily reminder that it is GOD who works in us sanctification, and our own efforts are NOT enough; or that may look like simply resting in the righteousness that is imputed to you and not trying to add to it. By beholding Jesus in the mirror of the Word, we see both our lost state apart from Him AND our new selves that are continually being transformed into his likeness. And that I can praise God for because I sure do need that reminder!

Grace: Amazing

{ "By grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." -Ephesians 2:8-10 }

This is a topic that I feel very ill-equipped to write about in great length, because I am still on the road to really learning it. Grace. It is what defines Christianity, and sets it apart from all other religions. And yet it is a concept that humans have a hard time understanding. Grace is usually defined as "unmerited favor". Biblically, we see that grace is what is not deserved, not earned, not worked for, but is given as a gift (as the above verses describe). More than give you a dictionary lesson, I want to explain how difficult it is for me to understand the concept of grace and what God is teaching me in the process.

Since I became a believer I have most certainly recognized that I did nothing to deserve God's gift of salvation. I was redeemed from my past and made into a new creation in Christ. Plain and simple, by the work of the Holy Spirit. My life changed almost overnight and I no longer felt the burden of shame and guilt that I had felt previously. Very simply: I was saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. And as I continued to grow in my understanding of who God is, and what my Savior has done for me, I also grew in my desire for obedience. My life began to bear the marks of a true Christian and though I still had a long way to go (and still do!) there was evidence that God was indeed working in my life.

Somewhere down the road, though, I began to think of obedience as something that I did. When I served the Lord, studied the Scriptures, met with God in prayer, I (subconsciously) found myself believing that doing these things earned God's favor and pleased God more than if I had not been doing these things. My mindset of "saved by grace" shifted to "saved by grace, but continue in works". Now, I would never have said that I thought I was actually earning God's favor or His delight by reading my Bible and praying, but deep down in my heart there was a part of me that just believed that was the case.

During one semester of college, I found myself up to my earlobs in extracurricular activities, service opportunities, and life commitments. I was trying to do way too much with way too little time. But I was determined to do all of these things, and do them well. Well, I was humbled that semester and when I began to struggle to keep up and I sank into a season of mild depression. I bottled it up though, and put on a happy face that told the world, "I am okay." By Thanksgiving, I was burned out and ready to come home. I made it to Christmas and God was gracious to reveal areas in my heart where I was just trying too hard. I surrendered my time and schedule, burdens and failures to the Lord and began showing me the necessity of a strong community. Through that time, God showed me His grace by not punishing me for me failures - as I was so prone to think He would do! But of course, I had to remind myself of the gospel: that Jesus was punished for me! God would never punish me because He has not only forgiven me, but declared me "Not guilty!" -- that is substitutionary atonement. Jesus bore the guilt in my stead. That is undeserved favor. That is grace.

In the years following, I have begun to realize that I have a "law-based" mindset. What I mean by "law-based" is that I tend to think that if I do _____, or if I don't do _____, then God will be pleased with me. This is a very detrimental way of thinking. If a person goes on believing this, then they will always be attempting to earn God's favor instead of resting in the fact that grace has saved them, and it is grace that continues them in sanctification. This, my friends, is what I so often forget! Grace is what sustains our faith, all the time. From the first to the last. We can only please God, by His grace that He has given us through the cross of Jesus. Apart from Christ we cannot please God, and even in our redeemed state our works do not necessarily please God if we are doing them simply in order to get something out of it. That is defined as pride and self-righteousness. Because Christ has earned us His righteousness, our attempts to try to earn our own are in vain! Besides the righteousness of Christ is far greater than anything we could even attempt to earn!

So in the midst of our attempts to work for God's favor, let's stop and begin to rest in what Christ has accomplished for us, and continues to work in us: grace, amazing.

[In the next post, I will discuss the difference between repentance and self-condemnation, so stay tuned!]

What I Am [Not]

Have you ever struggled with self-condemnation? Well, welcome to the club. I don't mean that to sound trivial or unsympathetic, because I know that it is a serious struggle, both for myself and others. And for us women, we tend to heap the mounds of defeat on ourselves much more than the opposite gender, although they are definitely not immune either. Two verses specifically combat this struggle, that come to mind:

• Ephesians 1:18: "having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints"
• Romans 8:1: "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Look at these truths. Both pack a whole lot of self-condemnation battle punch. And when applied correctly and thoughtfully to those thoughts and feelings that are contrary to what is true, the weight of shame and guilt that you are relieved of is truly remarkable. As I was considering the struggle of self-condemnation today, I want you to think about the reasons why we wrestle so much with these type of thoughts and emotions. I believe that the battle begins when we fail to live up to arbitrary standards that either the world or ourselves have put on us. The struggle may begin when you start thinking about your weight for instance. You mull over what your body "should" look like, and then start inwardly complaining/condemning yourself over what your body actually looks like. The cycle is sped up when we mount on all of our own personal failures and then we become consumed in this unhealthy, unhelpful, ungodly pattern of thinking that does nothing but make us depressed and pitiful. At the root of these thoughts: self. We are focusing way too much on ourselves, and way too little on Christ. That is why when I read Ephesians 1:18 today, I was considerably helped. Think about this: I am stuck in my downward cycle of thoughts about the way I feel, look, am acting, etc. and cannot 'see' what is really true because I am just caught in this web of terrible thoughts about myself that continue to get worse. Then all of a sudden [TRUTH] steps in, your eyes are enlightened, you remember the HOPE to which God has called you, and the glorious riches that you inherit as saint (one who is set apart for God)! Your thoughts begin to lift, maybe slowly at first, but in rememberance of what is really true, you forget what is really not. Our eyes, heart, and mind shifts from focusing on ourselves' to focusing on Christ. And when we focus on Christ, we see ourselves in a new light. We remember that we were bought with a price, that we are not defined by how we look, the way we have acted, what we've said, the ways in which we failed, nor the ways in which we are currently struggling. We are defined by [Christ].

So I thought I'd write a little poem to help me to remember that although I 'am' a lot of things, I am primarily a daughter of the King's:

I am [not] the fastest runner.
I am [not] a health nut.
I am [not] the perfect wife.
I am [not] the most efficient worker.
I am [not] the most beautiful woman.
I am [not] the best writer.
I am [not] the most talented chef.
I am [not] always a neat freak.
I am [not] already glorified.
I am [not] sinless.
I am [not] without baggage.
But I am Christ's.
I do belong to Him.  

Although I still may not measure up to all of my standards, I meet his: I am a sinner, in need of a Savior. And when my identity is all wrapped up in Jesus, and when I can boast in nothing else but my Him, then I no longer need to condemn myself, because He was already condemned for me.

*written on June 1, 2012*

Feel free to share with me your thoughts - kathryn.m.sumner@gmail.com

Appropriate Discontentment?

Perhaps you have heard the oft-quoted verse from Paul's letter to the Philippians, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." (Phil. 4:11) And when you hear this verse, what specifically comes to your mind? Are we supposed to be content when we see ourselves constantly struggling with a particular sin? Or are we supposed to remain content when a family member is ill or dying? What about when we desire something good, like marriage or children, and are yet un-married and without children? I have been reflecting on the concept of "holy" or "spiritual discontentment" and would like to share my thoughts with you.

Again, what exactly is discontentment and how can we define it as either right or wrong? Well, the first thing we must do is measure of heart motives behind the discontentment we are facing, up against the Word. Earlier in the letter to the Philippians, Paul tells them to "Rejoice in the Lord always..." (v.4), and in his first letter to the Thessalonians he says, "Rejoice always...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (5:16, 18) So here we have two examples of the kind of constant rejoicing and thanksgiving that we as Christians must maintain in all circumstances. But what about some of the examples that I sited above? Well, John Piper sheds some helpful light on this area of "holy discontentment" in regards to spiritual leadership. As I purused an article written by him some years ago, he talks about a spiritual leader's optimism and zeal for change in accordance with their seeking of the Lord. A spiritual leader sees necessary and good changes to be made, and instead of being "content" in the current situation (or stagnant) he decides to move forward and do something about it! His motivation for fueling change can be called some sort of 'discontentment'.

I think about this type of discontentment in regards to sanctification as well. If we are honest with ourselves, none of us are as "spiritual" or "holy" as we would desire to be - and that's a good thing! A yearning for deeper fellowship or intimacy with God, greater knowledge of His Word, more of a sensitivity to one's own sin, and an increasing desire to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ - these are all good and necessary things in regards to our sanctification. We see ourselves in the mirror of the Word, and realize that we are not measuring up when it comes to evangelism, we are falling short in our discipleship efforts, and we lack zeal and endurance in prayer: we are discontent with our lives in ways that we should be. I have often felt this way. However, my holy discontentment can turn sour when I turn inwardly, and in self-pity, focus on what I am not, rather than who Christ is. Like I said, the longing to be more conformed to Christ's image is a good thing, but an attitude of self-pity, self-condemnation, or "woe is me" are not. We need to check our hearts and make sure that when those thoughts and attitudes begin to surface, that we are taking our longings to the Father who knows our desires and wants us to bring them to His throne of grace. After all His desire is for us to be conformed to the image of His Son.

Lastly, I want to address discontentment in circumstances vs. sanctification. We have talked about the latter in the previous paragraph, so let me address the former for a moment using an example from my own life. Some months ago after beginning my first full-time job [where I am still working now] I began to have this slight feeling of discontentment in where I was at. Not that I wanted a different job necessarily, but it was a dissatisfaction with my current occupation: a career woman, so to speak. Deep down the desire for motherhood began to form, along with all of its fears and hesitations. In light of that desire, I began asking God for clarity and discernment about what the timing of being a mother versus remaining faithful in my workplace, and what that would look like. Chance and I began praying about starting a family, and finally decided to move forward with that. Now you see? God used that discontentment with my current situation to spark a change in the direction that Chance and I were moving with our lives. But I would warn you to use much caution when evalutating this type of discontentment with circumstances - for there is a time for everything. God may not be calling you to change your life circumstances at all but to remain right where you are and to learn contentment in the midst of adversity or struggle. Always evaluate your heart in light of God's commandments and be sure to take your discontentment to the Lord in prayer - He is faithful and He will help you to know what He is trying to teach you through it.

Are you struggling with discerning some discontentment in your life? Please share your thoughts and concerns, I'd love to hear them!

List of Thankfulness

I have been reading through the Psalms (arguably my favorite book of the Bible) for some time now reading one or two a day. And I have noticed many things about the writers who include Asaph, David, Moses and the Sons of Korah: they are characterized by thankfulness. Many of the psalms, though not all, have themes of praise and thanksgiving weaved into the fabric of the verses. Psalms like 106 and 107 (in Book Five) describe periods of time in Israel's history when God did amazing things and the people are called to rejoice, give thanks, praise, and remember Him. Other psalms resound the steadfast love and abundant mercy of God time and time again - extended to his people who cry out to him and who fear him. So as I think about the thankfulness with which the psalmists write, I want to list some things that I am specifically thankful for today:

• The intimate fellowship with God through Jesus Christ
• Salvation by grace through faith
• The presence of God's Spirit
• My husband
• My marriage
• Our families
• My hometown
• God answering prayers
• Our local church body
• Seminary (& seminary wives)
• The Word of Truth
• Sweet friends

And just for fun:

• New shoes
• Running (as always)
• Gluten free/dairy free birthday cake (but mostly gluten free cookies from Creme de la Cookie - courtesy of Ruth Poe!)
• Springtime!
• Birthday cards :)
• My job
• Car washes
• Clouds in the morning

"Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" -Psalm 106:1

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" -Psalm 107:1

"Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man!" -107:8

"I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds." -Psalm 9:1

"Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!"
-Psalm 33:2

Isn't good to give thanks to the Giver?

Going Deeper in Discipleship

Our fast paced lifestyle is really not conducive to real life-on-life discipleship. I dislike that in our culture, discipleship can often feel so forced; that there are such things as “one on one” time or, scheduled coffee dates with mentors. Don't get me wrong, I have ALWAYS enjoyed these… but when I have begun to reflect on the efficiency and effectiveness, the authenticity and reality of discipleship in these contexts, it is becoming clear to me that more often than not these interactions feel stale and forced. Is this really "life on life"? Where's the spontaneity? Should there be any in discipleship? Or does discipleship mean "disciplined time" and "schedules"? There are a million books (okay maybe less) on question-asking, biblical counseling, solid relationship building techniques and for the most part they are helpful. I have really always functioned based on a schedule. In college especially, my sole focus was: effective time management. I was constantly trying to maximize my time in every place, circumstance, and interaction which meant that I was rarely “all there” in any one place, circumstance or interaction. My husband, when we dated, was quick to point this out, and now I am very grateful because it has indeed been for my betterment to see this tendency in myself. He has specifically helped me to see that slowing down, relaxing, and taking things one stride at a time is actually more beneficial. And throughout this process I have also come to realize that discipleship takes place one conversation at a time -- with intentionality and purpose.

I have been longing for and asking God for someone to disciple. I want to mentor a girl younger than myself, to counsel her and talk with her about her struggles as a teen or young woman navigating through this life trying to find who she is and what she was made to do. I have longed for a woman to do the same for me, and throughout the years I have had that, and I am thankful for those friendships, mentors, and women to look up to.
My mother, grandmother, Ann S., Melanie K., Mandy M., Erin H., and Sarah K. have all been women whom God has used to help me grow in this Chrstian life. But unfortunately, both due to my insecurity and a lack of desire to sacrifice time/energy [on the part of others] there has yet to be a woman in my immediate church context who comes alongside me and says, “I want to get in your life! I want to ask you hard questions! I want to disciple YOU!” Again, I have been thankful for the women that have graciously given of their time to let me ask them questions, advise me in matters too deep for me, and let me learn from their wisdom. Though, I see a lack in the church at large of women who aggressively, and intentionally seek out women younger themselves to actively disciple in this manner.

This is a tragedy in the local church! Jesus told his disciples (yes all of them were men, but look at Titus 2 ladies!) to “GO and make disciples… teaching them to observe all that I have commanded…I am with you always…” (Matt. 28:19-20). We can’t just wait around to have someone come and disciple us (I have learned that lesson) we must actively GO and be disciple-makers. If everyone were doing this, not only would you and I be discipled by someone else but we would be discipling others as well! What a sweet and joyous thought! Oh how we need God to grant us obedience in this area. It is a commandment and it is necessary. Yes, it takes self-sacrifice; yes it takes time and energy, effort and ability. But, whether you are a high schooler maturing in the faith, a college student learning zeal for Christ, a young wife practicing submission, a mother observing self-denial, or an aged, wise saint –we are ALL commanded to make disciples. We all have our unique experiences, testimonies, wisdom, and knowledge that we can lend to other generations (both below and above us). Let’s pray that God would give us each a woman (or maybe more than one) to disciple and teach for the glory of His name.

(Note: After writing this.. I think God has answered my prayer!)