Sleep-Deprived But Not Theology-Deprived

The past few days were tough--I mean really tough, as far as sleep goes for the Sumner household. Hudson has learned this new trick where he can roll from his tummy to his back. This would be great, except for the fact that he still needs to be swaddled to sleep. This means that whenever he rolls around in his crib, he oftentimes gets himself too worked up and looks like a fish out of the water (minus the fins!). He had also decided that he didn't want to be put down in his crib without WAILING first for about 20 (or more) minutes...which made for some very confused, frustrated, and exhausted parents. 

Just yesterday, I prayed that the Lord would help me to see his goodness in light of his sovereignty in this situation. I also prayed that he would help me to fight my sins of frustration, anger, selfishness, and irritability, which were rearing their ugly heads as I listened to my screaming son. Helpless though I felt, I was comforted by the fact that God is in control of all circumstances and, in fact, he had ordained this for my good (Rom. 8:28). Not a few hours later, though, I was in tears as I attempted to put Hudson down for nap number two, while fighting the feeling of abandonment and loneliness. Where was God in this mom's sleep-deprived, exhausted, and tear-filled circumstance?! My perplexity led me back to what I had written in my journal just a few hours prior to that moment. The thoughts that I had written down were a reflection on the unchanging character of God. This bore fruit in my thinking in light of what I was experiencing. My theology brought stability to my troubled heart.

I wrote, "Although I am perplexed about Hudson's difficulty with sleeping lately, I have been able to remember a few things about God's character that have been truly comforting:

1. He is good; he is always good (Ps. 119:68)
2. He cares for me, and wants me to cast all my anxiety on him in humility (1 Pet. 5:6)
3. He is my hope--not my circumstances (Rom. 8:25)
4. He loves me (Rom. 5:5)
5. He is at work in my heart, using my circumstances to conform me to the image of his Son, which is my ultimate good (Rom. 8:28)

So where was God when I couldn't see beyond nap time? He was with me and near me. Psalm 94:19 brought immense comfort as well. The verse reads, "When worries threaten to overwhelm me, your soothing touch makes me happy" (NET Bible). 

If you find yourself in unforeseen circumstances that threaten to steal your joy or cloud your view of God's goodness, ask yourself these questions: "Does my theology work for me or against me in a situation like this?", "Is God really in control of whether or not my son takes a nap this afternoon?", "Does he have a purpose in what is so seemingly mundane and inconsequential?" I believe that God governs every detail of our daily lives and uses them to mold our character to the likeness of Jesus. When I am sleep-deprived and teary-eyed, I should let what is true about God work to shape me into the image of Christ.

I hope I can live this out when it comes to bed time...

A Different Kind of Full-Time Job

Last night I was thinking about my days as an executive assistant and office manager just a few short months ago. I worked at a financial management company by day, and was a housewife by night. Well although my role as full-time career woman came to end when Hudson was born into the world, there are many interesting parallels between my job as an office manager and my new job as a stay-at-home mom.

When I worked at the financial management company, my day began promptly at 8:00 am, while here in the home I might be beckoned out of my slumber by a crying baby anywhere from 6:30 to 8:00 in the morning (not to mention in the middle of the night!). My attire at the office was very professional: button downs, pencil skirts, and kitten heels. Nowadays, my outfit of choice is a pair of Nike running shorts, a tech shirt, and flip-flops (you can pretty much forget about the make-up). At the office, I had the same routine every morning: log onto my computer, turn on all the lights, fill the Keurig, and check my e-mail. At home, my routine begins by "silencing my alarm" (a.k.a getting a sweet, crying Hudson up out of his crib) and then spending the next hour in my pajamas on the floor, while Hudson plays to his heart's content. Some mornings at the office consisted of answering a slew of phone calls and e-mails, while at home most of the conversation that I am engaged in is responding to the giggles of a five month old. 

I was always on "lunch duty" at my office, taking orders from my boss and co-worker and running out to pick up their requests. At home, I am on breakfast, lunch, and dinner duty (as well as morning and afternoon 'snack' duty!) -- that's just the nature of nursing! My compensation as an office manager was an annual salary that Chance and I could easily live off of; whereas now my compensation is in the form on priceless smiles and unforgettable milestones like rolling over. I can't say that the latter actually pays the bills, but in the long run I am sure that going out to eat a little less will be well worth it. 

As Jesus taught his disciples in the Sermon on the Mount, he exhorted them not to be like the Pharisees who practiced their righteousness "before other people in order to be seen by them" (Matt. 6:1). He reminded the disciples that the Father who sees them in secret (or saw their deeds done in secret) will reward them. Paul, in Colossians 3:22-24, told the believers in the church at Colossae who were working as slaves, that they must not make it their goal to be people-pleasers, but to instead work as unto the Lord "knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward". I have often thought of these passages in reference to my role as a homemaker, wife, and mother. This job requires a lot of behind the scenes activity, which rarely gets acknowledged by the outside world. Most of day is spent in the home, caring for our son, and managing the affairs of daily life--all behind closed doors (literally). I have been discouraged when I think that as a homemaker my gifts of teaching and speaking are going to waste and I am not able to bless those around me. However, when I read these verses, the Lord reminds me that in whatever I am doing that I can do it heartily and for Him, knowing that it is from him that I will receive my reward. Jesus said that the Father sees both the motives of my heart and the things that I do on a daily basis that no one else sees--and He is pleased when I do them with the aim to glorify Him. Although, I should seek to bless others with the gifts that God has given me, my main objective should be to serve my family and in turn honor the Lord in that endeavor.

 Today, as I contemplate both my former job as an office manager and my current one as stay-at-home mom, I can be confident that the Lord will bless me in any job I am doing. So whether you are a career woman, a single lady, a housewife, or a stay-at-home mom, whatever you do in the private sphere "as unto the Lord" should be done not for the praise of people but for the glory of our great God. He has prepared for you good works from before time began, so that you would walk in them (Eph. 2:10) and in doing so, please Him and bring glory to His name.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." -Romans 11:33

Strength Training for the Christian

As the wife of a seminary student, I am often listening to mini-lectures on the canonization of Scripture, inerrancy, and textual criticism (etc., etc.) In the past I have listened with passivity because I am not well-acquainted with these subjects; after all, I am just a seminary wife. But recently, I have become convicted (most likely through the prayers and encouragement of my dear seminarian-husband) that learning, specifically through reading, is vital to the Christian. Let me give you a parallel to help put this into perspective. 

I write often on this blog about exercise, specifically running. I love it! I devote valuable time to it because I both enjoy it and consider it beneficial. But one aspect of running that I don't so much enjoy is strength training. Strength training, for me, isn't fun. But it yields a great benefit! Fact: it makes you stronger (hence the name). I run faster and can go father when I have devoted time to going to the gym and lifting weights to build the muscles I use when I run. Strength training is also part of injury-prevention. When a runner or athlete has strong muscles, they are less likely to be hurt in their sport. Well, reading is like that for the Christian. For those of us who aren't avid readers, picking up an extra book and spending time actually reading it, can be a difficult task. I just finished a book called "Taking Hold of God" edited by Joel Beeke and Brian G. Najapfour, on Puritan and Reformed perspectives on prayer. I admit that when Chance told me about the book he had just checked out for me from the library, I was a little less than excited. It was not exactly the book I had had in mind to read on the subject of prayer. Boy was I wrong! It was a fantastic read that has challenged and encouraged me in the discipline, study, and practice of prayer. Had I not undertaken to trust my husband's judgment and read this book, I would not now be benefiting from what I have learned. 

To be sure, learning is a process that continues through our entire lifetime. God chose, in his wisdom, to inspire a book to be read so that the man (or woman) of God would be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 3:17). We would do well to press on in our learning through the discipline of reading and reap the rewards that await us. So just as athletes need strong muscles to perform to the best of their abilities, so we as Christians need strong spiritual muscles that are built as we exercise our minds through reading. 

Reading is also the Christian's defense against injury, because with knowledge there is power. Reading and learning from what we read, prevents us from incurring any injuries to our patterns of thinking. Paul told Timothy, "Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather, train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." I conclude from this passage that training one's mind to protect against error (or "injury") is even more important than training one's body. Certainly, our experiences shape the way we think about issues in life; from them we gain wisdom and the benefit of having been through certain circumstances ourselves. But how much more equipped could we be as Christians to face the world, if we took the time and energy to actually know the ins and outs of our faith. 

To conclude, I believe one of the greatest hindrances to devoting time to reading is busyness. "I'm too busy" is a phrase that I both use and hear too often. While I understand that every individual has a different schedule to keep to, we are all responsible utilize our time wisely. Perhaps we could all re-evaluate our levels of busyness to see if there really isn't time to devote to reading, for the glory of God. I am sure that we could all find time to read that book that we've meant to finish for months, if we checked Facebook less often, and took fewer Instragram photos. If you truly are desiring to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, take the time to read a book; I promise, you won't regret it. 

The Wait is Finally Over

The Birth Story of Hudson Thomas Sumner

I must begin this story before the actual labor/delivery/birth part began. My desire for Hudson's birth, all along, was for it to be an unmedicated, natural birth. We hired a doula (labor coach) to help me to achieve that goal, having never given birth before and not really knowing what to expect. The few weeks leading up to Hudson's due date, my doctor told me that I was 100% effaced, and a few centimeters dilated and that I would deliver any day. As his due date approached and I still hadn't gone into labor, I was becoming more and more discouraged. Well, January 10th came and went, and still we were without our son. The week after that was an agonizing one, as I mostly just meandered around the house and tried to keep myself busy. Every day I would ask the Lord to send Hudson, but sadly God chose not to answer these prayers. I faced discouragement, lack of faith, impatience, and frustration as the days passed and I was still pregnant. At my last prenatal visit, my doctor told me that she wanted to schedule an induction for Tuesday, January 22nd. I was discouraged because I had been  planning on having a natural, unmedicated birth for the last nine months. But, I was reminded that the Lord was in control and I needed to trust his timing and his plans over my own. So the induction was scheduled and I continued to wait and feebly trust in the Lord as being sovereign over all things, including the birth of this child. 

On Saturday, January 19th, Chance's parents decided that they would fly into Dallas 'early' since the original plan was for them to fly in when I went into labor. We enjoyed spending time with them and anxiously awaiting the time when we'd get to meet Hudson. We prayed on Saturday that I would go into labor that night and have Hudson on Sunday, but alas we awoke Sunday morning and I was still not in labor. That afternoon I called my doula who had told me I could try a 'natural remedy' prior to my induction to see if it would cause me to go into labor and so avoid medical induction. She prescribed 1 tablespoon of castor oil to be taken right before bed. This was my last hope, if I was to avoid the induction, since I only had one day left before the procedure. Around 9:45pm on Sunday evening, after Chance went off to work for the night, I took the castor oil and tried to fall asleep. I was too excited and too anxious to get much sleep at all. I woke up at 1:30am, with slight stomach cramps, but nothing too abnormal. But, at 2:50am, I woke up again, this time due to a popping sound and feeling. "My water broke!", I thought, although I didn't feel any wetness. I got up and went to the bathroom and sure enough as soon as I got in there a gush of water confirmed that indeed my water had broken! This was it! I called Chance and told him that I thought my water broken and to come home. He told me he was on his way, and by 3:30am he was at home with me just as I started to feel contractions. 


Contractions are a funny thing. I always wondered what a real contraction felt like, having heard them described as menstrual cramps but different. Well I never felt the menstrual cramps, only intense pressure, mostly in the upper part of my legs. I called my doula and told her that my water had broken, and she suggested that I shower, eat breakfast, and rest as much as I could. After attempting to lay down, the contractions began getting stronger so I got up to shower and eat breakfast. By 5:00am the contractions were about 5 minutes apart, so I called my doctor's office and they informed the hospital that I was on the way there. Baylor University Medical Center (the hospital I planned to deliver at) happens to be located right across the street from DTS and our apartment. So as we grabbed our bags to head across the street, Chance and I made the decision to walk. Three contractions and about fifteen minutes later we were checking in to the labor and delivery unit. It was 6:00am. I met the nurse, Katie, who assessed me and seemed very excited when I gave her my birth plan and told her that I wanted to do this naturally, without medication. She asked me a million questions and monitored Hudson's heart rate and my contractions which were consistently 5-7 minutes apart. At 7:00am, Katie left and a new shift of nurses came in to take care of us. My 'head' nurse was Charlotte. She was bubbly, cheerful, and very excited to assist us with our natural delivery. The doctor on-call came in shortly after and measured my cervix: I was 4 centimeters dilated! 

Chance and I left the room once we were all checked in and assessed, and began walking the halls. Chance was amazing throughout the whole process. I honestly could not have done this without him, and I am so thankful for his constant encouragement and support the entire time. He would constantly say, "You are doing a great job" or "You can do this!" We walked and walked and walked. During each contractions I would stop by the wall and hold onto the railings while I breathed through the pressure. The pressure was intensifying, but I was able to keep walking. I never really had a thought about pain medication, but there was one time, as Chance and I walked the halls, when I spotted a man in a sterile gown going into the C-Section operation room. I said to Chance, "A C-Section sounds really good right about now." I was half-serious. Around 8:00am, our doula arrived and Chance went to the waiting room to see his parents, while Melissa and I walked the halls again. Due to the pressure I was feeling in my legs, Melissa suggested that I do some deep squats during each contraction because she suspected that the baby's head was stuck on my pelvic bone as he was trying to descend. The squats were difficult, but they seemed the help. After getting tired of squatting/walking, we went back to my room where I sat on the birthing ball, used the birthing handles on the bed, and laid in a very uncomfortable position while Melissa guided me through the contractions to lessen the pressure on my legs. 

At 10:00am, Melissa suggested that I get into the tub to relax my legs muscles. This was a great idea. Chance sat with me the whole time and helped me breathe through each contraction. We grabbed the iPad and turned on some worship music. The warm water, music, and sweet words from Chance all seemed to relax me. After about an hour, I decided that I had had enough of the tub and told Chance I wanted to get out. He helped me onto the toilet. As soon as I sat down I said, "I think I want to push." He went and told our nurse, Charlotte, who said that she could check me if I'd like. I moved slowly to the bed, where she examined me. To my surprise, I was 9.5 centimeters dilated! Praise the Lord! She said that she would call the doctor and get the nurse team ready for delivery. Melissa had me do 3 contractions on the toilet, and then a few more in a kneeling position over the back of the bed. These were the most intense contractions because I was essentially "breathing away" the urge to push until I got to 10 centimeters. I heard something about 9.5 centimeters "with a lip" not really knowing what that meant, but feeling determined to get to 10 centimeters so that I could push this baby out!

Before long, the doctor came in and began to get prepared for the pushing. I sat in the bed as Chance and Melissa each grabbed one of my legs. They told me to wait until I had a contraction and then push with all my might. The contractions seemed like ETERNITY apart! As I pushed the first time, Chance told me that he could see Hudson's hair--he was almost here! I waited for the next contraction and then pushed again, as hard as I could. I felt him moving down and out; this was it. I kept my eyes on the clock to see how long this was taking. All the nurses, my doula, our doctor, and Chance were encouraging me along and I could sense that he was so close. As I pushed the last time, I thought "I just want him out!" I didn't scream or yell, but tried to direct all that energy into the pushing. The doctor worked her magic and as I continued to push, push, push, I felt a horrible burning feeling and then HUDSON ARRIVED (at 11:20am)! Chance immediately burst into tears of joy as they hoisted Hudson up onto my chest. I was elated. He was perfect.

The nurses were cheering, and congratulating us. Chance made his way back to the bed to see his son, with tears in his eyes. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I didn't shed a tear, but kept smiling and thinking, "I can't believe you are my son (and I can't believe you just came out of me)!" Our doula snapped a bunch of pictures, and the nurses took Hudson after a little while to measure, weigh, and assess him. God had answered our prayers for a healthy, safe, and natural delivery. More importantly, Hudson was perfectly healthy and had safely arrived--in God's perfect timing. I have been overwhelmed by God's abundant grace in giving us Hudson, and have felt immense gratitude to the Lord for working everything out according to his will. I am thankful for our family, for the nurses, the doctor, the hospital, our doula, and my dear husband. I truly could not have gotten through the pregnancy, labor, and delivery of our son without Chance's support.  God is so kind. 

Perhaps one of the funniest parts about the labor and delivery, was that somewhere along the way it was told the nurses that I had run a half-marathon at 29 weeks pregnant. They seemed to get a real kick out of that and began saying, "Wow, you are superwoman!" I don't know about being superwoman, but I do believe that my continuous exercise throughout all of pregnancy and my experience as a runner greatly assisted me in being able to endure the pain of childbirth. 

A verse that I had been thinking about in the week leading up to Hudson's birth is Psalm 126:3 which says,  "The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad." I can claim this truth as my own, because indeed God has done great things for this Sumner family, and we are immensely glad. 

Newness

Raise your hand if you like change. I can't count how many that was, but I am going to assume that there weren't many hands raised. I admit that I have an odd relationship with 'change'. Oftentimes I embrace it wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm, but at other times I am paralyzed with fear at what the change might bring about. Right now in life, I am somewhere in the middle. Like I said in my last 'post', this year is going to look completely different than last year, primarily because in a matter of a few days (literally!) I am going to be a mom, and Chance is going to be a dad. Our first son, Hudson Thomas, whose estimated arrival date is January 10th, is to be born any day now. Furthermore, this new addition to our lives has meant a complete shift in my role in our family. For about a year and a half I have been working at a financial management company, however, when I got pregnant I informed my workplace that I would not be returning after our baby was born. I am going to take on the role of stay-at-home mom and wife, and I couldn't be more thrilled (and nervous). Chance will continue to be enrolled at DTS full-time, while working a part-time job. I will go from 40-hour work weeks in the financial industry to full-time mommy, whose hours never really end. I am excited, anticipatory, nervous, and anxious to embark on this new journey that God has for me. 

With the anticipation of this new full-time role comes a whole slew of questions that have been running through my mind: Will I be a 'good mother'? How will I care for an infant? What will my days look like? In God's sovereignty, He has chosen that Hudson would be born right at the beginning of this new year. This has caused me to think about how God is actively working in our lives to make all things work together for our good. This morning as I read Psalms 148 through 150, I was struck by the awesome truth of God's provision over the whole of creation. He is not just active in my life, but in all of creation--including animals and planets. How wonderful that the Creator of the seasons, chooses to be with us through all of the seasons of our lives as well! As I reflect on this simple truth, while in the back of my mind knowing that life is about to change drastically, I am comforted. So embrace the newness that this year might hold, and look for how God is working in your life to bring about new things for your good and His glory! 

And the verdict is...

This is just about the funniest picture I have ever seen. Saw it on Pinterest, go figure. Well I thought I would make the exciting announcement to the social media world, that Chance and I will be having a ... BOY! Coming soon: Hudson Thomas Sumner! We cannot wait, we are beyond excited, and so incredibly thankful for this new little addition that we get to welcome into the world in just a few short months. May God continue to be gracious to us as we await his arrival. Thank you all for your prayers!

Love,

Kathryn and Chance

Rejoicing Together

It is my overwhelming joy to celebrate with my husband two whole years of marriage today. On August 21, 2010 I walked down an aisle for the last time as a single woman, and emerged from the sanctuary united as one flesh to the person I love most in this life. Chance, my husband, is without a doubt my best friend in the world and the person whom God has most used in my life to draw me closer to Himself. I am tremendously thankful to God for orchestrating our life circumstances in such a way, that we would fall deeply in love and have the opportunity to participate in [what I believe is the greatest relationship God ever created] marriage.

Two years may not seem like a long time, but in reflecting on everything that has happened in this short time span, I am amazed at all that God has accomplished in our lives. We recently returned from a long vacation to Florida, where we visited family and simply got to relax and spend quality time together. Chance had just finished a very (VERY) long paper for his second Greek class of the summer, in which he unpacked Paul's teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33. Just last Sunday, Chance had the privilege of speaking at his home church in Valrico, Florida to a class of college students, about this very passage. As I sat and heard my husband exposit this beautiful text on the union of marriage, I was struck by his zeal and excitement that he expressed. He spoke about how marriage is not simply a relationship between two people here on earth, but that it represents something so much greater--which is Christ's relationship with His bride, the church. Before our trip, Chance and I purchased the newly released book No Ordinary Marriage by Tim Savage to read and learn from together. Savage talked extensively about how marriage is meant to reflect the glory of God to the world and is for the purpose of glorifying God. He addressed married couples, wives, husbands, and singles as he sought to display the wonder of marriage and how it is anything but ordinary.

My greatest take away from the book was the reminder of selflessness within the marriage relationship. I was challenged to display the selfless love that my Savior showed toward me, in my marriage to Chance. Without God's abundant grace, this is impossible. I recognize how I need to ask for God's help daily, as I lay down my desires and make Chance's needs and desires more important than my own. I praise God that He has given me a husband to whom it is easy to submit because I know and see the sacrificial love that he has for me. I know without a doubt that his love is reserved for me alone, and that motivates me to serve him sacrificially. His love for me is not contigent on the way I treat him, in the same way that Christ's love for me is not conditional but unconditional. Today, I am reminded that our marriage is greater than ourselves because it is a picture of the gospel. What a privilege it is to participate daily in the this most intimate design, with the person I delight in the most! I love you Chance Sumner - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEETY!

P.s. And today we find out what gender our baby is! Amazing!

The Fleetingness of Life

There are two reasons I want to write about this topic this afternoon. Actually there are three. Although I tend to discredit social media as being too much of a distraction, admittedly it provides a very vital resource from time to time. This morning I learned that another classmate of my 2007 high school graduating class has died. That makes 3 (maybe more?) in 5 years. These people were only 23-24 years old. All of them have been male. And it's been tragic. I have not been able to attend any of their memorial services or funerals, but I would assume that there were kind words spoken of each of them, memories that were shared, and love expressed in abundance from family and friends. And yet, there is still sadness that fills my heart when I think of these young lives (the same age as myself) and how they've ended.

The second reason I want to write about this topic, the fleetingness of life, is that I just began a book that challenges the typical idea of the American dream in our churches. The book, written by a young pastor in Alabama, seeks to engage church members and Christians with the notion of taking Jesus' words about discipleship at face value. Though I am only a chapter or two into the book, his words have been enlightening, inspiring, and convicting all at the same time. My hope in reading this book is that I will be instilled with a burden for people who do not have the hope of Jesus Christ and a vision toward the riches I will receive in heaven for giving that hope to others.

Lastly, the third reason I want to write about this topic is that I have realized there are very few things in life that I want to do more than be a faithful wife and mother, and teach women the Bible. And I want to ask myself (and others) the question: are you seeking with all your heart to do what God has called you to?

Since I have not experienced the tragedy of losing a young family member, it is difficult for me to fathom or grasp the grief that grips those who have. I have been fortunate enough to live as long as I have (a mere 23 years) and know that there are days when I take my life for granted. It is when I am faced with the reality of death that I contemplate one thing: my hope. What is my hope? My hope began at age 19, when for the first time, I surrendered my life to the lordship of Jesus Christ and was given the gift of salvation and eternal life with God. Since that day, I look back and think, "What if I had died before then?" I do believe that I would have suffered the consequences for my sin: eternal death and separation from God forever. And that is a real tragedy. To think that anyone apart from new life in Christ who dies will be separated from God and from eternal joy and pleasure forever; that is a daunting thought. I hope that it would be a daunting thought for anyone who knows the Lord, and has the opportunity to share him with others; not only are we commanded to do this but it is our privilege and joy to do so. And this is a very real challenge for me.

In David Platt's book, Radical, he asks his readers if we are truly hearing the words of Jesus and if so, are we obeying them? Am I obeying them? For the entirety of my Christian life, I have been comfortable enough to sit in air conditioned (and heated) church buildings in nice clothes with my study Bible in tow. Nothing is wrong with that of course, but have I been burdened for people who have absolutely none of that? Honestly, very rarely. I have been content to accept all forms of teaching that I have received: theological books, commentaries, sermons via mP3, and conferences. I have thrived in church settings where I have been well fed by pastors who know how to exegete passages and explain them to the hearts of their congregations. And I have been truly thankful to the Lord for these privileges. But, but, what next? What do I do with the knowledge I have gained and continue to gain? What is the appropriate response and what does that look like for me? It is one thing to have all knowledge, and not love - for that is to be puffed up. It is another thing to have a whole lot of knowledge and teach others - for that yields a great reward.

Over the past few months, God has been working in my life a deep desire for two things: motherhood and teaching women the Bible. Additionally, Chance and I have made the decision (as I have previously posted) to seek to become parents. That decision was made with much prayer and finally asking the question: Is my career and being comfortable really worth putting off children for another few years? Deep down my desire for be a mother had been increasing and often I had the thought, "If I were to die in a year, what would I have rather done? Had a child or continued working?" For me the answer was crystal clear. Also in the last few months, I have finally been able to fulfill the latter desire (teaching) in our local church context here in Dallas. I love teaching, speaking in public especially, and I believe that God has gifted me in this area. I find it an immense privilege to teach middle and high school students the Scriptures, because as I reflect on my own life, at that age, I know how deeply I could have used the Word of God to reveal the truth about my heart and my life situation. I want to feed young girls the meat of Word so that they become mature disciples of Christ, who love God and who want to make an impact in our culture. Already I have seen my burden increasing specifically for this and I pray that it would increase all the more in the future.

So what am I saying? "To live is Christ, to die is gain." (Phil. 1:21) We only have one life to live, one lifetime to come to a knowledge of the truth, and one opportunity to either gain the whole world yet lose our souls (Mark 8:36) or "have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10). And then it is over and we will spend life eternally with God, or apart from Him. It is a sobering reality that I hope would cause us all to examine our lives and ask ourselves a few simple questions.

1) Do I know God, and Jesus Christ who he sent? (i.e. do I have eternal life? [John 17:3])
2) Am I living like I am hearing Jesus' words and obeying them? (Luke 14:27)
3) Am I seeking with all of my heart to do what God has called me to? (Galatians 2:20-21)


"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"-- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." -James 4:13-14

P-R-O-V-I-D-E-N-C-E

This morning in Sunday school we did a little activity with our sixth grade class. In their workbooks for this week's lesson, the acronym "PROVIDENCE" was written, with blank boxes to the right of each letter. The activity was for the students to write next to each letter (for example "P") a word that began with that letter, something in which God had providence over. I did the lesson the night before while Chance was preparing, and so I came up with a long list that included things like: people, running, occupation, vacations, death, evil, napping, cars, and election. We did the activity in class and had the students read their responses & explain why they thought that God had providence over those certain things. 


Well, later on in the afternoon I learned a lesson in God's providence. I went out for a run on the hilly trail on White Rock Lake, near our apartment. It was an exceptionally windy day so in certain directions I was running against the wind. As I turned around to head back toward home, on a particular spot of the path with overhanging trees, I felt something hit my skin - SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT. Oh no, I thought... no, no not again*.


Oh yes, God is even providential over: bird poop. Do I believe that God planned for that to happen? If I believe in the absolute sovereignty of a good, gracious, loving, and powerful God - then my answer is a resounding yes. God has providence over bird poop. I hope my sixth graders get a kick out of this story when I tell them next week. 


(*This was the 4th time in my life when I have been pooped on by a bird while running or walking)