Aubrey's Birth Story - Part Two

The day after Aubrey was born, a Monday, I was able to go home from the hospital. The next morning I was exhausted from multiple nights of little sleep, so I decided to take a nap. Chance and his mom were watching Hudson in the other room, while I took Aubrey into our bedroom to feed her and lay her down while I slept. The last thing I remember was feeding Aubrey in our bedroom. My memory begins again with a swarm of paramedics hovering around me. I had had a seizure.

Apparently, Chance and his mom heard a loud thud from the other room. They assumed a picture had fallen, but when Chance went into the bedroom he saw me on the floor seizing. Aubrey was on the floor too, crying.

The paramedics took my blood pressure and checked my blood sugar while Chance explained to them what he saw take place. I couldn't believe that I had just had a seizure. My labor and delivery went so well, and I felt that I was recovering rather quickly. Everything had seemed so normal, until now. After the paramedics left I called my mom (a nurse) who insisted that I call my OBGYN doctor. The OBGYN office told me to go straight back to labor and delivery, where I would be readmitted as a patient. 

It was all quite overwhelming. I don't really remember walking down to the car with Aubrey in tow. I do remember how distraught Chance was, which was difficult to see. 

After checking in at Baylor and being brought to hospital room, I began to break down. Why did this happen? Was I okay? Was Aubrey okay?! Seeing the fear that Chance was experiencing made me realize the gravity of the situation. 

Later, Chance took Aubrey to the pediatrician where she was assessed. We feared that I had dropped her when I began to seize, maybe hitting her head upon landing. She was in good condition, though, and the doctor saw no reason for concern. We were thankful. 

The doctors ordered all sorts of tests to be done: a CT scan, a MRI, an EKG, an EEG, and lots of bloodwork. It was a very draining day, both physically and emotionally. The nurse who cared for me that day was a Christian, and at one point when I sank into tears before my MRI she asked to pray for me; it was just what I needed. 

Later, I saw a neurologist and my OBGYN. Both doctors explained that a seizure can happen by many different causes: lack of sleep, high blood pressure, hormonal changes, etc. They reasoned that a combination of factors could have attributed to my seizure. They said that it was likely that it wouldn't happen again, if my tests showed that there were no underlying issues. 

I stayed overnight in the hospital. The next day I had ample time to contemplate the previous day's events. As I sat alone in my quiet hospital room, I reflected on the brevity of life, the importance of knowing Jesus, and uncontrollable nature of certain aspects of our lives. I realized from this experience that despite being in great health, traumatic events can and do occur without warning. God reminded me that He is sovereign over my days. And He reminded me of His great love for me in Jesus Christ, my Savior. 

Although all of my tests had come back normal, the most difficult news came from my OBGYN. She informed me that because of the seizure it was likely that I wouldn't be allowed to drive for up to six months. Ouch. That was a hard pill to swallow. I would have to follow up with a neurologist to confirm that, but six months suddenly felt like an eternity. However, I knew that it could be A LOT worse. 

At around 4pm, I was finally allowed to go home. Chance, Hudson, Shayla, and Aubrey came up to the hospital to take me home. We walked back to Swiss Towers in the bright afternoon sunshine. 

It has taken us these past two weeks to feel comfortable again. We have begun to experience a new "normal" (as much as possible with a newborn!) - running errands together, texting frequently when I am home alone, etc. 

God is definitely teaching me humility as I learn to rely on others for practical help. And I am learning to trust that despite whatever trials I face, God is faithful. 

Newness

Raise your hand if you like change. I can't count how many that was, but I am going to assume that there weren't many hands raised. I admit that I have an odd relationship with 'change'. Oftentimes I embrace it wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm, but at other times I am paralyzed with fear at what the change might bring about. Right now in life, I am somewhere in the middle. Like I said in my last 'post', this year is going to look completely different than last year, primarily because in a matter of a few days (literally!) I am going to be a mom, and Chance is going to be a dad. Our first son, Hudson Thomas, whose estimated arrival date is January 10th, is to be born any day now. Furthermore, this new addition to our lives has meant a complete shift in my role in our family. For about a year and a half I have been working at a financial management company, however, when I got pregnant I informed my workplace that I would not be returning after our baby was born. I am going to take on the role of stay-at-home mom and wife, and I couldn't be more thrilled (and nervous). Chance will continue to be enrolled at DTS full-time, while working a part-time job. I will go from 40-hour work weeks in the financial industry to full-time mommy, whose hours never really end. I am excited, anticipatory, nervous, and anxious to embark on this new journey that God has for me. 

With the anticipation of this new full-time role comes a whole slew of questions that have been running through my mind: Will I be a 'good mother'? How will I care for an infant? What will my days look like? In God's sovereignty, He has chosen that Hudson would be born right at the beginning of this new year. This has caused me to think about how God is actively working in our lives to make all things work together for our good. This morning as I read Psalms 148 through 150, I was struck by the awesome truth of God's provision over the whole of creation. He is not just active in my life, but in all of creation--including animals and planets. How wonderful that the Creator of the seasons, chooses to be with us through all of the seasons of our lives as well! As I reflect on this simple truth, while in the back of my mind knowing that life is about to change drastically, I am comforted. So embrace the newness that this year might hold, and look for how God is working in your life to bring about new things for your good and His glory! 

Is it worth it?

Yesterday, I read a blog post by Kevin DeYoung entitled Questions for our Pro-Abortion Friends, Church Leaders, and Politicians** which was very thought-provoking. I am already convinced, in my own right, that abortion is wrong, offensive to God, and is certainly not the only option. I've watched one or two debates between pro-life Christians and other pro-choice advocates and read many blog posts and articles arguing on both sides of the issue. I believe that it boils down to one question: when is someone considered a human being? The discussion also boils down to one issue: the value of human life. In DeYoung's post he asks a number of essential questions that our draw our attention to the real issue, and cause us to ask ourselves, "Does any person have more intrinsic value than another, based on age, stature, gender, development, etc.?" My answer to this question is a resounding "NO!" Here are my reasons why:

• Intrinsic value/worth as a human being is a God-given attribute. No one can take your worth from you for you have been made "...in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Gen. 1:27)
• No one is less valuable due to age, environment, or size. Would you really say that your infant is less of a person than your teenager or husband? Why then is a tiny fetus considered less of a person than a child out of the womb?
• DeYoung asks: "Does the eight inch journey down the birth canal make us human?" What a great question! Does this not reveal the ridiculousness of the argument against a baby inutero not being a human, but one outside of the womb being a human?
• Worth is not dependent on your capabilities. Most of you have probably seen The Story of Ian and Larissa on the Desiring God blog, which tells the story of a married couple who made the choice to get married despite Ian's limited mental and physical capabilities after an auto accident which happened just a few years ago. Would you say that Ian is less of a person or less worthy of life because he suffered this accident?

The list could go on as I unpack all of the questions that were rhetorically asked in DeYoung's post. I simply would like those of us who are wrestling with this issue to consider the logic behind all sides of the argument. Consider your own being, consider the children that you have or one day hope to have, consider the millions of babies that have thoughtlessly been aborted because hope was not given to their mothers in desperate need of true answers. My husband and I support a wonderful organization The Dallas Pregnancy Resource Center that does give hope to women who are considering their options as they face their pregnancies. I am all the more passionate about the lives of yet unborn children due to the fact that I have one currently in my own womb. It is our responsibility to be aware of the consequences of not valuing this little life as we ought to. I am thankful that God cares about children, born and unborn, and I pray that you would care about them too.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." -Psalm 139:13-14

**note: the term "pro-abortion" may not accurately represent the other side's stance on the issue, more often those who are not "pro-life" are termed "pro-choice"

Rejoicing Together

It is my overwhelming joy to celebrate with my husband two whole years of marriage today. On August 21, 2010 I walked down an aisle for the last time as a single woman, and emerged from the sanctuary united as one flesh to the person I love most in this life. Chance, my husband, is without a doubt my best friend in the world and the person whom God has most used in my life to draw me closer to Himself. I am tremendously thankful to God for orchestrating our life circumstances in such a way, that we would fall deeply in love and have the opportunity to participate in [what I believe is the greatest relationship God ever created] marriage.

Two years may not seem like a long time, but in reflecting on everything that has happened in this short time span, I am amazed at all that God has accomplished in our lives. We recently returned from a long vacation to Florida, where we visited family and simply got to relax and spend quality time together. Chance had just finished a very (VERY) long paper for his second Greek class of the summer, in which he unpacked Paul's teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33. Just last Sunday, Chance had the privilege of speaking at his home church in Valrico, Florida to a class of college students, about this very passage. As I sat and heard my husband exposit this beautiful text on the union of marriage, I was struck by his zeal and excitement that he expressed. He spoke about how marriage is not simply a relationship between two people here on earth, but that it represents something so much greater--which is Christ's relationship with His bride, the church. Before our trip, Chance and I purchased the newly released book No Ordinary Marriage by Tim Savage to read and learn from together. Savage talked extensively about how marriage is meant to reflect the glory of God to the world and is for the purpose of glorifying God. He addressed married couples, wives, husbands, and singles as he sought to display the wonder of marriage and how it is anything but ordinary.

My greatest take away from the book was the reminder of selflessness within the marriage relationship. I was challenged to display the selfless love that my Savior showed toward me, in my marriage to Chance. Without God's abundant grace, this is impossible. I recognize how I need to ask for God's help daily, as I lay down my desires and make Chance's needs and desires more important than my own. I praise God that He has given me a husband to whom it is easy to submit because I know and see the sacrificial love that he has for me. I know without a doubt that his love is reserved for me alone, and that motivates me to serve him sacrificially. His love for me is not contigent on the way I treat him, in the same way that Christ's love for me is not conditional but unconditional. Today, I am reminded that our marriage is greater than ourselves because it is a picture of the gospel. What a privilege it is to participate daily in the this most intimate design, with the person I delight in the most! I love you Chance Sumner - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEETY!

P.s. And today we find out what gender our baby is! Amazing!