Post-[What Would Have Been My First]-Marathon Reflections

On Wednesday afternoon, I went out for a slow, four-mile run down Swiss Avenue, enjoying the beautiful 79 degree weather. I thought, "Surely tomorrow's forecast for freezing rain is a little farfetched." This picture can attest to how I could have rationalized that thought. 

On Thursday morning, the temperature had dropped to just above 32 degrees, and the clouds which hung in the sky looked unpromising. Unfortunately for me, I guess the weather man got it right. The plan was to have two friends and one family member of mine, from out of state, fly in the next day. We were all supposed to run the Dallas Marathon on Sunday. On Friday, I got the news that my friend's flight had been canceled. Then the truly unexpected happened...

After more than twenty-four hours since getting the news that the Dallas Marathon was canceled, I am still experiencing a whole gamut of emotions. I am frustrated, disappointed, and sad. I had such high hopes for myself, especially since this was to be my FIRST full marathon. My goal was to run under 3:40:00, having completed the Hanson's Marathon Method Beginner Program. 

As I said in my previous post just a few days ago, I learned a lot from my training; discipline, thankfulness, amongst other things. I still believe God's goodness and sovereignty despite this major disappointment. My theology is working for me! 

But disappointment is an interesting beast. We get most disappointed when our expectations are the highest. After four months of hard work, I had set high goals of completing this marathon and doing it well. Naturally, my disappointment is not minor. In the grand scheme of eternity, this is so insignificant. 

In the last day, I have even felt silly for crying about the circumstances surrounding this disappointing weekend. But at the same time, we are human beings created with very real emotions. It is all about how you control those emotions that determine whether or not your response to your circumstances is correct or not. 

By the grace of God, I believe that I have kept my perspective on eternity and my emotions in check (for the most part). Nevertheless, I am bummed about not running [what would have been my first] marathon. L

Perhaps, God is teaching me humility. Or maybe he is reminding me that He is God and I am not. Shoot, He desires to teach me all these things and in the midst of it, remind me of His grace which I do not deserve. I am reminded of what Paul says in 1 Timothy 6, that bodily discipline is of some value, whereas godliness is valuable not only in this life, but also in the life to come. 

That truth stings my flesh as I try to rationalize how important running this race was to me. On the one hand, finishing this marathon was going to be a great blessing and accomplishment; on the other hand, if my hope is bound up in just completing a road race, then I need to get my priorities straight. Talk about a reality check!

It has been helpful for me to write these thoughts down as I reflect on my unmet expectations. From here, I don't know what my running schedule will look like. I am not sure when I will run a marathon: next weekend, in the spring, or next December, perhaps. Whatever happens, I am confident that God will get the glory. He controls the details of our everyday lives and has proven to me [again] that His ways are not my ways, nor are His thoughts my thoughts (Isa. 55). 

Whether you are in the midst of disappointment, as I am, or you can look back retrospectively at disappointment in your life, rest assured that God is the same. Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." When life doesn't go according to plan, like I've experienced this weekend, we can trust that God has it all under control. 

Pre-Marathon Reflections

After four months of training for my first marathon, I am compelled to take the time to think back on what my training has taught me. 

First, I am thankful. I have been able to run six days a week, for the past four and a half months. That is astonishing! My body has held up (for the most part), I have been injury-free, and I have been given both the time and ability to train. 

I am thankful for Chance and his self-sacrifice on my behalf. I am thankful for his support and love. I am thankful for him as Hudson's father, who loves to care for his son. 

I am also thankful that my runs have been times of prayer, reflection, and meditation on God. I love being able to go outside and enjoy God's creation while at the same time enjoying the benefits on exercise. What a gift. 

Second, I have developed a deeper desire for discipline in my life. Marathon training requires consistency, perseverance, and sacrifice. In a word: discipline. I think that my personality tends to gravitate toward routine and self-discipline anyways, which is one reason that I love have a training schedule. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to have daily set goals (amount of mileage) then setting each day out to accomplish those mileage goals. It has been an rewarding and satisfying experience for me.

Lastly, marathon training has revealed to me the truth Jesus spoke of in Matthew 6:21, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I have valued marathon training. Sometimes I have valued it too much, though, and when my plans don't go accordingly I become irritated. God has shown me the ways in which I can make running an idol if I am not careful to guard my heart. This is all a part of my sanctification. Running can be be both used for God's glory and abused to my shame. 

Well, the countdown continues as I wait for race day. I'm sure there will be plenty more to write about once I cross that finish line. Dallas Marathon 2013, here I come! 

(Stay tuned for Post-Marathon Reflections!)